Elephant Jokes
In the early 1960s when I was at school elephant jokes were popular and I put together a selection. I still have the list which I typed out on a very old typewriter at the time. The jokes are silly, surreal and nonsense. I have removed a few which were somewhat non-PC.
Click on a question to reveal the answer.
Where do elephants live?
How do they get in there?
How do you get an elephant out of a cherry tree?
What happens at 4.30pm?
Why are alligators flat?
How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
How do you get four zebras in a Mini?
How do you get four giraffes in a Mini?
Why don't elephants like gruyère cheese?
Why don't elephants drink cocktails?
Why do elephants paint their toe-nails red?
Why do elephants paint their feet yellow?
Why do elephants paint themselves green?
What is the difference between an elephant and a strawberry?
What is grey and has a trunk?
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants?
What did Tarzan's wife say when she saw a herd of elephants?
What did Tarzan say the second time he saw a herd of elephants?
Why do elephants wear sun glesses?
Why do elephants have thick skins?
How do you know you have an elephant in your fridge?
How do you know you have two elephants in your fridge?
How do you catch a purple elephant?
How do you catch a white elephant?
How do you catch an elephant in the middle of an African forest with a blackboard, a piece of chalk, a telescope, a pair of tweezers and a matchbox?
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Why do elephants have short tails?
Why do elephants wear short trousers?
How do you stop an elephant falling through the eye of a needle?
How do you get down off an elephant's back?
Why do elephants make nests in rhubarb trees?
What do you get when an elephant sits on a grape?
Why do elephants have corrugated feet?
Why do elephants drink?
How do you stop a charge of elephants?
What is green, hairy, and goes up and down?
What is yellow and always points North?
What is green and always points North?
What is black and comes rushing out of the ground at 100 m.p.h?
What is black and white and comes rushing out of the ground at 100 m.p.h?
What is red and comes rushing out of the ground at 100 m.p.h?
What is green, has four wheels, and grows in the garden?
What is mauve, grows on trees and hums?
What goes "Zzzubbb, zzzubbb, zzzubb" and is black and yellow?
What is brown, dangerous, and lives in a tree?
What is black, lives in a tree, and is very dangerous if it falls on you?
What is black, lives in water, and can sink ships?
What is red and lies upside down in the gutter?
What is yellow and goes "Ding dong"?
What is red and goes "Ding dong"?
How do you catch a white rabbit?
How do you catch a monkey?
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
What do you get when you cross a mouse with an elephant?
What is green, comes rushing out of the ground at 100 m.p.h. and goes "Phut phut"?
What is brown and comes spluttering out of Cows?
What has five legs, a green back and eats pebbles?
Why do bees hum?
What has one wheel, flies and hums?
What is purple, weighs two thousand pounds, and lives at the bottom of the sea?
What is yellow and dangerous?
What is green and comes rushing out of the ground breaking the sound barrier?
What is green and goes 'click-click'?